Jokes

My wife sat down   next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?'

I said, 'Dust.'

And then the fight started...                

My wife and I were watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"

"No," she answered.

I then said, "Is that your final answer?"

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, "Yes."

So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And then the fight started....

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> Company
> Memo
> FROM:    Patty Lewis, Human
> Resources Director
>
> TO:         All Employees
> DATE:    October 1, 2008
> RE:       Gala Christmas Party
>

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So you got those baggy jeans at Zappos and now you want to strut like you were in MS13.

Well you're in luck!

Today the city council in Glendale, AZ announce they will no longer be harrassing gang members wearing baggy jean as long as they are designer jeans bought from Internet stores.

Sheriff Arapapoo states,"We feel that these youths wearing baggy pants and jeans are trend setters and pose no risk to drug infested neighborhoods they are native to.  When questioned by reporters about ending his sentence in a preposition, Sheriff Arapapoo replied,"What?"


I'm never drinking again.
I'm never drinking again
I'm never drinking again

I'm never drinking again
I'm never drinking again

I'm never drinking again
I'm never drinking again
I'm never drinking again
I'm never drinking again

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